Good Sports
by Budd
Glassberg
Reprinted with permission from the Zionsville Times
Sentinel on March 15, 2006
The Zionsville Anti-Mini
“You can get anything you want at the
Zionsville Anti-Mini
It started three years ago as a protest to getting locked out of a race I had participated in since 1984. There were 48 others like me who decided to run our own “Mini”. The run was so successful that 150 more joined us in the second year of the event. Last year, the event drew more than 250 satisfied participants. This year, we are going after the soft underbelly of the Indianapolis Mini Marathon. We expect to pick up more and more dissatisfied “Mini” runners through word of mouth from the contented growing field of Anti-Mini veterans.
It is time to now go after those who, due to no error of their own, have mistakenly signed up for this years “Mini”. To those poor souls we ask of you only one small thing. Dump the “Mini”. When you do, you will be saying no the crowds of 35,000 people blocking you from running or walking at your desired pace. You will be saying nay to the harmful pounding your joints will absorb over thirteen plus miles of asphalt. You will be sending a loud message to race directors that you care not about the cluttering swag given away like the ugly cotton tee-shirts that end up collecting dust in a drawer, while your entry fee increases each year to pay for the unwanted garbage. You will be laughing in the face of the greedy oil companies who profit from your drive to downtown Indy. How nice it will be not to have to pay twice for the parking to pick up your packet and the next day for the race. You will be thumbing your nose at races that take runners on a long course, usually on a hot day, with absolutely no shade. A course that purposely forces its runners to run around a banked oval 2 ½ mile track that radiates even more heat to the poor runner’s already blistered feet. When you bypass all of this, you will not receive a finisher’s medal, which along with 99 cents, can get you a Junior Whopper at BK.
Ah, but what, you ask, do you have to offer instead to allow me to use all the effort for which I have trained over the past several months? The Zionsville Anti-Mini Marathon is in a class by itself. We offer a beautiful course 100% free of any paved material shaded by trees in two of Zionsville’s most stunning parks. Each loop of the course is 3.1 miles and all participants have the option of doing one, two, three or four plus loops for their Anti. And what, you may inquire, will this set me back? Forty dollars? Thirty Five? No, my friend, the Anti-Mini is free. What’s more, we provide a generous cash reward for each participant who completes the entire four plus loops (13.1 miles in all). You say you are still not satisfied? If you show proof of registration for the other “Mini” and finish the entire Anti, we will double the generous cash reward. All this and you don’t even have to register for the run, just show up. You will need to write your name on the pad on the clipboard and put your time and distance by your name when you finish.
I know you are now wondering, so what is the catch? No catch. Granted, the Anti has no aid stations. You will need to bring your own liquids and/or food and put it at our start/finish line on the picnic table to be visited every 3.1 miles. We do not have 1,000 port-a-potties, but for the first time this year we will have one (hopefully upright) at our start/ finish line (so come with an empty bladder). Instead of having to listen to bagpipes at the “Mini”, the Anti will have comedian Sid Glassberg for entertainment. If it is raining or has rained recently, expect mud at the Anti.
If
you have signed up for the “Mini” and are now convinced that you would rather do
the Anti, I suggest you pick up your “Mini” packet, hand your timing chip back
to the volunteer and say, “You can get anything you want at the Zionsville
Anti-Mini Marathon.” And walk out. You
know, if one person, just one person does it they may
think he's really sick and hand him his money back. And if two people, two people do it, in
harmony, they may think they're both crazy and give both of them their money
back. And three people do it, three, can
you imagine, three people walking in tossing their timing chips back and
walking out. They may think it's an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said fifty people a day walking in discarding their
timing chips and walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement. And that's what it is ,
the Zionsville Anti-Mini Marathon Movement, and all you got to do to join is show
up at
Budd Glassberg is a resident of Zionsville who is active in the local running community. Visit www.runz.com for reprints of all his columns. You can reach him by email at budd@runz.com.
The following table lists the similarities and the
differences between the Indianapolis Mini Marathon and the Zionsville Anti-Mini
Marathon:
|
|
|
Zionsville Anti-Mini |
|
Similarities |
|
|
|
Distance |
13.1 Miles (or less if you drop out) |
13.1 Miles (or less if you choose) |
|
Date/Time |
Saturday, May 6, 2006
7:30 AM |
Saturday, May 6, 2006
7:25 AM |
|
Differences |
|
|
|
Surface |
100% run on paved surfaces |
Not one step on pavement. All on trails of dirt and crushed stone. |
|
Awards |
Finisher medals |
Generous cash awards to all who finish the 13.1 miles. |
|
Tee-shirts |
Long sleeve commemorative T’s |
Nothing |
|
Aid Stations |
Several equipped with water, Gatorade, and some power
gel |
Nothing |
|
Medical Assistance |
Doctors and nurses on hand as well as first aid
equipment |
Nothing |
|
Participants |
35,000 |
< 300 |
|
Entry Fee |
$40 |
$0 |
|
Volunteers |
Hundreds |
None |
|
Timing Device |
Computer Chip Timing |
Big Clock, note your own time |
|
Toilet Facilities |
Hundreds |
One |
|
Exclusivity |
The field is full.
No additional runners may enter. |
Come one, come all.
No one will be turned away. |
|
Conditions |
Exposed to the elements. Not a lick of shade. |
Shielded from wind and sun while running through the
woods. |