Good Sports

by Budd Glassberg

Reprinted with permission from the Zionsville Times Sentinel on July 19, 2006

Leading the Horse to Water

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams

When do we turn over responsibility to our children for their physical well being? As infants and toddlers we watch our children play. Then we teach them simple games to play which help them differentiate their bodies from the outside world. As they experiment and discover new skills, the games we introduce are more complex and involve more dexterity and proficiency. Soon some of them begin to show interest in sports. Making the sport fun for them is our responsibility. Introducing them to a variety of sports and allowing them to choose what most pleases them is a way to make it likely they will continue the sport. We can teach them the rules of the game, demonstrate and model and expect good sportsmanship, coach them on the skills and fundamentals of the sport and provide a safe environment for them to play. We can hope they find enough enjoyment in sport, that they will continue to play until and through adulthood.

With many children, once they get started, the love of the activity keeps them going. Others may partake in the sport as long as their friends continue to play, but then drop it when the friends stop playing or when it has lost its initial appeal. While our children are young, we simply introduce another activity in hopes it catches the child’s fancy. For an older teenage child who is in a rebellious stage, this will not work. How can we help the independent child to stay physically active if they have no inclination to do so?

Pushing physical activity on them by force is likely to backfire. The parent of a child who refuses to exercise has limited options. It is best to allow the teen to decide to become physically active or not. The parents of this type of child have the duty to provide enough factual information to the child to help the son or daughter to the conclusion that physical activity is a benefit to him or her. The parents can also model making an active choice by their own participation in sport and keeping up their own physical fitness.

What else can the parent do if they have tried all of the above suggestions and the child rejects physical activity? In a word, wait. The old saying that, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink,” applies to this dilemma. The child has made a decision that may adversely affect his health. You may think you know what is best for the child, but this knowledge gained from your own experience does not transfer automatically to your offspring. For some children, the best way to encourage lifelong physical activity is to allow them to experience the benefits on their own.

Sometimes, if you can take a break from telling them what they should do, you may find that the child discovers the benefits of fitness on their own. This often comes in the form of a sport that is foreign to the parent. The football loving father, who doesn’t understand soccer, is often the parent of a child completely absorbed in that sport. Traditional sport enthusiasts may find their offspring enamored by the likes of lacrosse or rugby. Some parents may find their child is just not a team sport person, but might thrive in an individual sport like cycling or an activity without competition.

Sometimes I think those who shy away from organized sports and get their physical activity by their mode of transportation like skateboarders are the ones who are most likely to continue with physical activity throughout their lives. First, we as parents, ought to provide such children with a bicycle, roller blades, skateboard, scooter or other self-powered vehicle. Then we should put the child in a position where they must use it to go where they want (rather than driving them in a car). This can assist the parent in helping the child discover the benefits of physical activity. In one sense, after leading the horse to water, you might make it thirsty enough to drink.

Budd Glassberg is a resident of Zionsville who is active in the local running community. Visit www.runz.com for reprints of all his columns. You can reach him by email at budd@runz.com.