Good Sports

by Budd Glassberg

Reprinted with permission from the Zionsville Times Sentinel on November 1, 2006

The Dreaded Shoe Police

“Kings will be tyrants from policy, when subjects are rebels from principle.” – Edmund Burke

As many of the readers of this column already know, I am a proponent of minimalist shoes for running. For the past year and a half, I have also been attempting to toughen my feet by walking barefoot whenever possible. I believe that there are many health advantages to going barefoot some of which I have documented in prior columns. I have done a great deal of research on both the health aspects and the difficulties of barefoot living in a shod society. I am well aware of the stigma attached to going against one of society’s norms.

While people often comment on my lack of shoes, most are either inquisitive or just feel a need to comment on my condition. “Where are your shoes?” is the most common comment. I have some standard retorts such as, “I knew I forgot something this morning,” or “At home where they belong.” Both comments and retorts are spoken in a kidding and friendly way. Most people I’ve met while barefoot are tolerant of my choice and realize that my bare feet have no detrimental affect on their lives. I have eaten in many fine restaurants that were understanding of my lifestyle and found no reason to intrude on my desire to be without shoes. There are some people who, for reasons I will later explain, feel it is their responsibility to protect society from the offensive behavior of walking around in public without shoes.

Coming home from Bloomington, I stopped at a Taco Bell in Martinsville, not exactly known for its atmosphere or cuisine, and ran into a dreaded shoe policeman. He confronted me after I had received my meal. I was sitting at a table, eating, and reading a book.

“I am going to have to ask you to leave,” said the Taco Bell employee.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“You are not wearing shoes,” he observantly replied.

“I know that, but why must I leave the restaurant?” I inquired.

“Because it is against the health codes to eat here without shoes,” was his reply.

Having been through this sort of thing dozens of times before, I took out a letter from the Indiana State Department of Health (which I always carry with me) and showed it to the worker. It states that there is no state health requirement for shoes at any place open to the public such as restaurants, retail establishments, libraries, schools, etc. other than for food workers.

“You still need to leave because Taco Bell has a policy against eating barefoot here,” the Taco Bell employee lied again.

“Show me the policy and I will leave,” I said calling his bluff.

He said he would be getting his manager and went behind the counter, but he did not return. As he left, several teenagers who had seen the confrontation came to me and showing their support took off their shoes.

This scene with slight differences has been repeated often with one very common thread. The shoe policeman invariably comes up with some lame excuse why an unshod person cannot remain in an establishment. If not for health reasons, it may be to protect the floor from some bacteria the shoeless foot inadvertently brings to its surface. I have wondered what is the actual motive is for the shoe commandant to intervene. After much thought, I am convinced that the guardian of the establishment finds the sight of the human foot to be horrible and revolting. And why might this be the case? Probably because when that person goes home and takes off his shoes and socks, his own feet are hideous, smelly and bacteria ridden (due in no small measure to the fact that they are cooped up in socks and shoes all day, a dark, moist, atmosphere where bacteria thrive).

I would love to see how a shoe policemen would react if he entered an establishment and was asked to leave because he was not wearing gloves?

“Why do I need to wear gloves?” he might ask.

“It is unhealthy for those gloveless hands to be here. Who knows where they have been? Touching a toilet seat or up one of your nostrils. We can’t allow you in here without gloves.”

“But there are no health rules against gloveless hands.”

“Sir, we have a policy against it. We don’t think any of our patrons should have to look at your hands while they eat. It is disgusting!”

Allow me to state to all of you shoe policemen; I hold no ill will toward you and your pushy ways. I will always tolerate your gloveless hands, no matter how repulsive they look or where they may have been.

Budd Glassberg is a resident of Zionsville who is active in the local running community. Visit www.runz.com for reprints of all his columns. You can reach him by email at budd@runz.com.