Footprints

by Budd Glassberg

Reprinted with permission from the Zionsville Times Sentinel on September 5, 2007

Of Gravity and Time

“Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t committed.” – Anthony Powell

It doesn’t happen overnight. You do not look into the mirror one morning and all of a sudden see an older person. Instead it has a way of creeping up on you, little by little. At first it might be a small nagging ache that you never noticed before. Perhaps it approaches in the form of a little gray in your beard or hair. To some it is a loosening of the skin on their faces. Others notice a thinning of their hair or its retreat altogether from head spaces previously occupied. It may come in the form of joint aches, forcing a slower process getting out of bed in the morning. Some of us may notice that we can no longer read the fine print without magnification. Another sign is a slowing metabolism that screams “Eat less than you used to or weigh more. You choose.”

For those who do not die young, loss of youth is not a choice, it is inevitable. When it begins to happen and how fast it happens may be variable, but given time, it will happen. While genetics and life style choices certainly play a part, they may only speed up or slow down the unavoidable. Parenting teens seems to be an accelerator. Going through life with a type B personality tends to retard the process.

Aging is like a series of injuries, many from which we never recover. With each little insult that stays with us, we learn to cope with, compensate for and then accept the newly acquired disability. Once the eye glasses are needed, there is no going back. We find that we miss too much without the hearing aid, so it becomes firmly planted in our ear. What used to be moist is now dried out. The plumbing leaks. Our thermostats constantly throw us from too hot to too cold. Don’t even get me started on the changes that affect our memory.

For those who refuse to go gently into old age and would rather go down fighting, there is lasik and plastic surgery, botox, hair transplants and toupees, hip or knee replacements, nip and tucking. Some of these may temporarily improve the quality of the person’s physical life, while the cosmetic treatments may do wonders for the person’s emotional state. Personally, I agree with Will Rogers when he said, “Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.”
No matter where you are on your timeline, you may well benefit by looking at someone further along than your current position. We have a lot to learn from our parents and grandparents. I am fascinated by the grace, patience and courage, with which some of our elderly approach their disabilities. We have a choice when facing our own. Do we wish to complain and curse our fate, or accept it with dignity and move on with our remaining functioning facilities?

I have witnessed my father’s decline and believe I have found the perfect role model. At 87, he is still independent, but accepts help when needed. He has faced and stared down prostate cancer since age 80. Last year he was diagnosed with diabetes which he is handling well. He moves much slower than he used to, has diminishing use of his hands for fine motor skills, wears a hearing aid and looks to be about six inches shorter than when he was in his prime. He does not complain about his lot. His mind is sharp and he continues to entertain. The adjustments needed have been made. Our conversations do not dwell on his health, nor does he lament his dwindling skills. As his world shrinks, he finds reasons to celebrate living each day.

None of us will leave this world alive. Most of us will experience the abuse that gravity will take on our bodies after living a long time on this planet. After many years here, our parts will begin to wear out. That fact is clear. If we feel we have been cheated by the unfairness of it all, our final years will be filled with bitterness and regret. Acceptance of our lot will help to bring us joy in our golden years and help us ease the journey of those who will follow us.

Budd Glassberg is a 23 year resident of Zionsville who works and volunteers in the community. Visit www.runz.com for reprints of all his columns. You can reach him by email at budd@runz.com.